Disrespect Your Elders
Do the young teams call a subject like this clickbait? Probably. This feels like it's going to be a long one, so we'll front load the point:
TL;DR
Respect for ones elders should be earned, not expected. It's the "elders" who can be found guilty of wasting time complaining about the conduct of "kids these days" while also failing to realise they're responsible for shaping that conduct by their actions or omission thereof. Changing that is up to us.
Let's see if I can get to any kind of point in under 1000 words 😬.
Victim by Gaslight
Previously I prattled on about the language in Dweck's book on Mindset - Growth vs Adaptive. The book is excellent (I'm reading it now) and the discussion around a 'fixed mindset' illuminated how closely it links to the capital H Hardiness work Maddi and Khoshaba pioneered.
We know by now that the default human animal is an adaptive system. How on earth, then, can this default adaptive behaviour cease? The answer is obvious.
A Gorgon
Long ago, Poseidon brutally abused a mortal Gorgon in Athena's temple. For this, Athena transformed Medusa from fair maiden to terrifying monster. Why? Was this to empower Medusa such that she'd never be mistreated again? Was it punishment for the desecration of her temple because Poseidon was too powerful to be held to account?
Either way, an abuse of power resulted in Medusa being forced into a position whereby she could stop anyone in their tracks with her petrifying gaze. One look would turn her victims to stone. They would cease to move, think, breathe, adapt, evolve.
Shields Up
Through Athena's guidance, guile and shiny surfaces Medusa was defeated by Perseus. Heid-affed in her beddy. Never again to imprison someone inside themselves.
Perseus, gallant, wily and brave as he was would never have been able to do this without the catalytic intervention of Athena. Had she not tipped him off, it's likely he too would have become a statue as soon as he locked eyes with the powerful Gorgon.
Groaning Oak
Speaking of shiny surfaces, Schwarzenegger - a man who spent a great deal of time staring at his own reflection - was recently on instagram complaining about those of us with a 'victim mentality'. Those of us who are rooted to the spot, who feel as though life is happening to us rather than having control over our own evolution.
This is very common. Laying blame at the feet of others is the classic signature of both narcissism and a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset does not mean you cannot function. It means you believe the human animal (oneself included) cannot change. It has a locked in set of skills and abilities. This prejudiced view that we lack capacity for change is then - wait for it - projected onto others.
Eight of Swords
In tarot, the 8 of swords typically depicts someone bound and blindfolded, encircled by swords that form a prison. The card suggests this is of their own making, and that the power to find a way out resides within. There usually appears to be space between the swords, but who tf bound and blindfolded them? How are they meant to see the safe way out?
The Labyrinth
The way a system iterates and improves is through positive deviance / catalytic disruption and innovation. If things stay the same, things stay the same. Nothing changes if nothing changes. That's where you and I come in.
See, Henson's Labyrinth was a mindbending complex system. There's no way Sarah would have rescued Toby from The Goblin King had she not received guidance / intervention / interruption from Hoggle, Ludo, Sir Didymus and Ambrosius. She would often feel hopeless and would complain about how unfairly she was being treated - all of this was projected on her by Bowie's character and his eyebrows while he smirked and twiddled glass baws with someone else's arms*.
Through the meeting, and assistance of, her rag-tag team of misfits she was able to come to the realisation that King Jareth had no real power over her. She got unstuck. Escaped the prison she had created. But not without the help of her friends.
Reflect What's Projected
It's up to us to help unstick each other. Guys like Schwarzenegger or that babbling dumbass Peterson will sit behind their big desk and groan about people having a victim mentality, telling people to tidy their rooms, without seeing they are the cause of it. People in a position of power are responsible for turning the hopes and dreams of others to stone, then complaining about the inertia that follows.
We have to step in, to polish the shield, to offer the hand, to breach the entryway. Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered it's up to us to ensure Poseidon, Medusa, Jareth and everybody else aren't given an inch of room. That's how we'll earn the right to be respected by generations to come.
/EOF
Lore for Today
"Heid-affed in her beddy" is about as Zielinski and co. banter as you can get tbh.
*look it up
I made a conscious effort to attempt to highlight that victim-blaming and abuse of power are themes as old and new as myth and movies.
I still maintain that "adaptive mindset" is a way better term than "growth mindset"
Next time someone is banging on about a victim mentality in others, ask them what they are doing to intervene and let me know what they say. Bet it's '🦗🦗🦗'
Sinek recently posted a reel from a podcast about "holding space for others". It spurred two ideas-while-falling-asleep in one for me:
Always be eight minutes out from supporting someone in need
Be a QRF - a Quick Reaction Friend. I'll write more about these two thoughts soon.